Interesting Weekend

Had an interesting weekend...
So my mother pulled me aside last weekend and told me we suddenly had enough money to pay for housing for me once I go to college (as long as it was under around $400 a month) and I was like cool. But I had my doubts. Usually when these things are said to me they're followed up with a 'oh Cora we can't do that anymore'. So surely enough a few days later I was told just that. They don't actually have the money, something came up, I'm on my own again.
I don't really care about that either. I never asked them or anyone else to help me out with college. And if it just so happened they could, that's fantastic! But, to put it frankly, my familys pretty damn poor. We're not like dirt poor like we used to be where a trip to Mickey D's was like a five star restaurant big deal, but we're in a huge amount of debt. So I never expected anyone to be able to help me.
It's just that whole building up my hopes only to shoot them back down. Thats what I hate. And all my parents do it. My dad and his wife especially. They love to promise me shit only to go back on their word. They always have the best intentions, I know, but I'm so tired of it. Why can't everyone just admit we're shit broke and tell me I'm on my own already? Why do they have to insistently let their guilt towards me get in the way of our reality.
I don't ask for much, if anything, but they act like I'm making them pocket the stars and moon... I'm just tired of it.
I got to have a groggy late night conversation with an artist I really respect on saturday/sunday. Sometimes when your all wrapped up in how amazing the artist is, you tend to forget, in the end, they're just a person like yourself XD I only say that because she seriously acts just like how my best friend used to so it was like crazy deja vu all night long. She's a cool chick.

I've been sort of thinking about all sorts of things lately too. I think maybe the reason I don't really have alot of friends is because people expect me to be this certain type of person when they first meet me then as they get to know me, they realize I'm just an average dork and it disappoints them. And so they sort of drift away from me. I kind of hope that isn't true but the evidence is hard to look away from.
(sighs) Well I'm done spewing nonsense for the day...